walau eh! my arms, stomach, thigh n calf all aching like shit! can't even walk down a staircase properly. =(
today got back some of my exam results liao. damn fucking sadded by the marks. 5 fail n 4 pass. still got 2 more papers to be given out.
------fail------
-physics ---> 23/50
-geography ---> 19/50
-principles of accounts ---> 25/100
-chemistry ---> 0/50 ( actual is 28/50 )
-english paper 2 ---> 0/59 ( actual is 21/50 )
------pass------
-english paper 1 ---> 33/60
-additional mathematics ---> 41/80
-elementary mathematics paper 1 ---> 44/60
-elementary mathematics paper 2 ---> 47/80
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overall for my elementary mathematics ---> 65/100
overall for my science ---> 23/100
overall for my english ---> 30/100
this sucks. after some calculations, i realised i needed at least a 64 to move on to secondary 3. and that's totally damn difficult. haish. oh well. i guess all i need to do now is to study. hope i wun retain. =x
miss rosaline chan says that half the class will retain. haish. our co-form teacher is cursing us. what the hell. 307 knows dat she hates us budden dun need to curse n spite us right? i know ur english good but pls dun eh lai in front of us can.
the next half of the year is gonna be a stressful one for me. must study like siao. i hope i wun be tempted to slack again. hope nothing gets in my way. i wanna change, but i've been too tempted by many many many many many many things. i wish i wouldn't be so vulnerable to temptations anymore. it's damn idiotic. i dun like this feeling but yet i get into it. wth.
life's going totally d wrong way round for me. i've gotten into trouble, i've created a bad impression upon others, i've been too immature in my attitude. i guess i've got to change, and i hope that the change will be now, and that it will be permanent.
------my "life story"------
i've always wanted to change, i still remember, my parents were damn pleased when they saw my PSLE results. 242. i was damn happy to see their expression dat time. haish. that was the last time i saw it. that was the last time i had that type of feeling. i did not study for my PSLE. i just got through it by luck i suppose.
during secondary one, i still had the same character and did not study. i got an average result for my mid-year. this was because there were no examinations. i got the average mark by all the common tests which were quite easy to pass through. den during d end-year, i did quite badly. i rmb my klaz position was 35/40. i think. my parents were displeased. i was disappointed too. at that time, i was hooked on to maple. so dat most probably was the fucking reason i did badly.
at the start of secondary 2, i was still hooked on to maple and having my "honeymoon". i did not plan to change back then. all i did all day long was to play, play, and play. therefore, during d mid-years, i flunked. totally flunked it. my class position was 38/40. this time i'm sure of it. then my parents were called up and they scolded me when i reached home dat night. that night, i told myself i wanted to change, and i actually did. i stopped mapling for quite some time. after school re-opened, i chionged. but got rehearsals for syf rite? so got one period i slacked. den slack for one month. den i got addicted to slacking. i developed a slackish attitude. i did not know y i did not change. den i onli studied 1 week before end of year exams. but i improved abit larh. my overall rise by 7%. den i told myself to do better. i told myself to study hard for secondary 3 n not let my teachers down, esp mrs goh n mrs chan.
at the start of secondary 3, i studied extremely hard. until end february. dis time, once again, it's because of eldds. it's because of syf. i slacked again. i used to do systematic filing. but for dat period, i stopped. den my notes started piling up. i hardly touched my books. developed a slackish attitude once again. slack slack slack. den did not change back. till this day. haish. i onli started studying for mid-year one n a half weeks before it started. den when the exam papers came, i realised dat between secondary 2 n secondary 3, there was a vast difference in the level of difficulty. i was totally shocked. i wanted to study, but there was just too much to cover.
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so until now, this is the state of condition i am in. haish.
ops forgot to post some things. =xtoday supposed to have inter-house games budden our class haven take napfa so today we did all six stations. no one inform us la wth. den i wear school shoes run. so weird. in the end get 26/30 =) for 2.4 actually is 9.05 den mr ho ask us to run wrong staircase. we run in d park. supposed to run d further one we run d inner one. den in the end plus 2 mins. wth! at most is onli plus one min plus lor. den plus until 2 mins. shit la.
feel damn tired now. today's a damn tiring day.
jus now in d hall got 2 talks. d first one is record breaking stuff. conducted by isaiah n sherman. den during d programme 307 sit right in front of d screen den we all palia like siao. keep on asking them to shut up n be guailan. haha. damn fucking funny la. den for d second talk is bout contact lenses i think. den all sleeping. lol. den towards d end george yeo come in den all wake up. idiot la. den after dat got this short n lame talk by d om. den we keep on jisiaoing him until teacher come. haha.
fucking funny n tired day. haha.
what the fuck larh.i just found out dat my 6 bucks kena zoom by someone. cheebye shit larh. oh well. heck care larh. past few days not allowed to post.oh ya. that very fateful night, when both my parents were downstairs watching tv, i put both d warning letters onto d table. den i faster go slp. just before i slept, i could hear some grumbling n crying. =x den at 3am, i woke up. could still hear my mum crying. could tell dat my dad was fucking pissed. den at 6am. woke up. my mum jus finished bathing. din even dare to talk to her. din even dare to look her in d eye. den when i bathe finish, go to d car, i ask them where is d warning letter, my dad smack my head. WTF lor. den my mum say dunwan gimme. ask me go meet mr singh for appointment. den on d way to school in d car i quarreled with her again. den she cry again. fuck it larh. warning letter warning letter. i rather caning lor. bloody shit.
den in school. dun wanna face alot of teachers larh. esp mrs belinda goh n mrs annie ng. ms chan still okay. yong hor i dun care larh. i dun even feel embarrassed in front of him. haish. jus dunnoe how to face some specific teachers.
oh well. life's going totally d wrong way round. turning 360 degrees. i'm confused. haish. really dunnoe wad to do. getting mood swings easier n easier everyday. wth is wrong with me? =/
today was pet rocket day for all d sec 3s, but not for some ppl n i. we (bout 9ppl) were called down to d office at d staret of d pet rocket program to settle our cases. den we stand outside sick bay there. den one by one go in d principal's office to c mdm lieu. den talktalktalk. dexter talk to mdm lieu for bout 1 hr sia. den he d first one. den all of us kena shocked sia. lol. den vera 15mins. francesca 20mins. i half an hour. den we were told to write a reflection on what we had done. it has to be 2 full pages long. some more d paper given is d totally blank paper. no lines one. den we write lor. vera write super fast. den she like half an hour done liao. i take bout one hour. den hand so pain. >_< den after dat must show mdm lieu d paper den can go for our activity liao. budden before dat must go find mr singh. we thought caning larh. scare us like siao. lols. budden is actually take warning letter nia. =.= lols. by d time we went for our activity bout 1230pm liao. everyone shooting their rockets ler. den we got nothing we can do, so go canteen makan. den after dat they got break. so we aso got break. haha. den slack slack. palia everywhere. den after dat dexter go home den i stay in school wif kok wee n yuan hao. den i wanted go find manisa. so both of them go hall attend d pet rocket thing first. den i go hall find her aso. she not there. go counselling room. she not there. go 207. she not there. den go counselling room again. she inside liao. wtf! swae lor. run here run there den cannot meet. T_T den after dat someone msg me say they got take attendance for d pet rocket thingy. den i faster chiong there. den made it in time. xD lucky sia. i've nva been in luck for d past month. lol. first time in a long time. haha. so to dat person, thank you alot. =D den after dat help out with Jasmine's rocket den c her running outside. i think she having training. den whole person sian diao. dunwan do anything. so slack about in d hall. haha. den after dat they go shoot rocket den we dun go liao. stay in d hall to watch table-tennis n badminton training. den watch until bout 4. den go out c rocket. shhot damn bloody fucking far larh! knn sia. shoot damn freaking high too. some rockets go until almost d whole field den some go super super super super super super high but onli a short distance away nia. lols. damn cool larh. regretted for not making d rocket. oh well. aso cannot make. den after dat go home.
sian ah! dunnoe how to tell my parents bout d cheating case today. fuck. dunnoe how to face them. confirm damn paiseh one. can't imagine their reaction later. thought of forging signature. cus they must sign d warning letter aso. den thought btr not. in case kena caught again den sure die liao. oh well. wish me gud luck later. =) pray that nothing will happen to me. =x
die liao larh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
today nothing much happened.
morning went to school for d germany trip briefing. quite interesting sia. =D den got dis man(parent of someone) keep on asking questions n giving comments. i think he go germany before. so eh lai lor. den my mum n i keep on staring at him. haha.
after dat went outside school d coffeeshop for lunch den went home.
come home liao. play maple a while. den log off. cus i dunnoe where to get arrows. den cannot train. =.= call yuan hao they say call not allowed. call dexter he nva answer. i think he still playing volleyball. haha.
den now damn bo liao. dunnoe wad to do. fucking bored. wanted to download bitcomet den got some lame problem. dunnoe y dl so slow. take 2 hrs for 6.84mb. =.= den dunwan download lor. another day try dl c d speed gud or not. =)
haish. suddenly thought of her. nothing to think about den think of her. haish. dunnoe y i feel so sad suddenly. it's like i got no aim in life. i dun even like to play any game. i dun even have someone to love. even if i do, does dat person notice it at all??? i dun even know wad i should do now, whether to clear up the mess on my table or to slp. wth is wrong with me??????
so many ppl r telling me to give up on her. they keep on saying it's not worth it. they say even if i sad she wun care, she wun bother, she wun give a damn. but i'm still staying on. i wanna tell u straight in the face, " i'm gonna jio u back." =x
today nva go find mr singh. after school heck care him jus go home bathe. den go plaza sing meet yuan hao n some others. alot of xinmin ppl were there. then saw some of my ex pri school classmates too. go watch spiderman 3. cool sia d movie. v nice. esp d part when he wear d black suit. fringe damn nice larh. but when he got d black suit he very eh lai.
den after movie go zone x playplay. den go eat dinner. den go home. damn boring now larh. dunnoe wad to do. sians.
today's exactly one month after our breakup n i still have not changed my mindset. should it be a "=/" or "=)"??????
walau eh. the past month have been the most fucked up time of my life.
-past month i've been quarreling wif my parents. more like they quarrel wif me lor. everytime start quarrel wif me for no reason. so unreasonable.
-my grades have been falling. i have made some teachers dun like me. esp yh.
-i have become more slack. n d worst thing is...... the break up on 11th april. haish. still in a month. ='( n tmr's one month after d breakup. everyone's gonna be happy cus exams end. but i dun think i'll be fucking happy at all. i'm not even bothering to open up my poa file now.
-something very very very bad happened. i helped dex cheat during chemistry exam. den kena caught. knn. sure get zero liao lor. some more mid year exam. walan eh. den today morning mr singh come find dexter n i. den ask us y we cheat. den he aso caught us for english paper 2. cus i gave dexter some answers on english too. den got 2 cases of cheating. wth larh. den after school he ask us go find him at 1230. den at 1200 we saw him walking to staff room so we go early lor. den can go home faster. den he make us both one by one go into staff room at his table there take statement for both papers. den take bout one hour. so ma fan. den after dat he call us go cus he got meeting. den say wad tmr close case. dunnoe wad punishment we'll get sia. den after he call us leave mr ang sort of counsel us. lidat lor. sian ar. i scared call until parents. sure die one lor. ears confirm get fucked up one.
everything's going wrong for me in the year 2007. wth is going on in this world.
