walau eh! my arms, stomach, thigh n calf all aching like shit! can't even walk down a staircase properly. =(

today got back some of my exam results liao. damn fucking sadded by the marks. 5 fail n 4 pass. still got 2 more papers to be given out.

------fail------

-physics ---> 23/50

-geography ---> 19/50

-principles of accounts ---> 25/100

-chemistry ---> 0/50 ( actual is 28/50 )

-english paper 2 ---> 0/59 ( actual is 21/50 )

------pass------

-english paper 1 ---> 33/60

-additional mathematics ---> 41/80

-elementary mathematics paper 1 ---> 44/60

-elementary mathematics paper 2 ---> 47/80

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overall for my elementary mathematics ---> 65/100

overall for my science ---> 23/100

overall for my english ---> 30/100

this sucks. after some calculations, i realised i needed at least a 64 to move on to secondary 3. and that's totally damn difficult. haish. oh well. i guess all i need to do now is to study. hope i wun retain. =x

miss rosaline chan says that half the class will retain. haish. our co-form teacher is cursing us. what the hell. 307 knows dat she hates us budden dun need to curse n spite us right? i know ur english good but pls dun eh lai in front of us can.

the next half of the year is gonna be a stressful one for me. must study like siao. i hope i wun be tempted to slack again. hope nothing gets in my way. i wanna change, but i've been too tempted by many many many many many many things. i wish i wouldn't be so vulnerable to temptations anymore. it's damn idiotic. i dun like this feeling but yet i get into it. wth.

life's going totally d wrong way round for me. i've gotten into trouble, i've created a bad impression upon others, i've been too immature in my attitude. i guess i've got to change, and i hope that the change will be now, and that it will be permanent.

------my "life story"------

i've always wanted to change, i still remember, my parents were damn pleased when they saw my PSLE results. 242. i was damn happy to see their expression dat time. haish. that was the last time i saw it. that was the last time i had that type of feeling. i did not study for my PSLE. i just got through it by luck i suppose.

during secondary one, i still had the same character and did not study. i got an average result for my mid-year. this was because there were no examinations. i got the average mark by all the common tests which were quite easy to pass through. den during d end-year, i did quite badly. i rmb my klaz position was 35/40. i think. my parents were displeased. i was disappointed too. at that time, i was hooked on to maple. so dat most probably was the fucking reason i did badly.

at the start of secondary 2, i was still hooked on to maple and having my "honeymoon". i did not plan to change back then. all i did all day long was to play, play, and play. therefore, during d mid-years, i flunked. totally flunked it. my class position was 38/40. this time i'm sure of it. then my parents were called up and they scolded me when i reached home dat night. that night, i told myself i wanted to change, and i actually did. i stopped mapling for quite some time. after school re-opened, i chionged. but got rehearsals for syf rite? so got one period i slacked. den slack for one month. den i got addicted to slacking. i developed a slackish attitude. i did not know y i did not change. den i onli studied 1 week before end of year exams. but i improved abit larh. my overall rise by 7%. den i told myself to do better. i told myself to study hard for secondary 3 n not let my teachers down, esp mrs goh n mrs chan.

at the start of secondary 3, i studied extremely hard. until end february. dis time, once again, it's because of eldds. it's because of syf. i slacked again. i used to do systematic filing. but for dat period, i stopped. den my notes started piling up. i hardly touched my books. developed a slackish attitude once again. slack slack slack. den did not change back. till this day. haish. i onli started studying for mid-year one n a half weeks before it started. den when the exam papers came, i realised dat between secondary 2 n secondary 3, there was a vast difference in the level of difficulty. i was totally shocked. i wanted to study, but there was just too much to cover.

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so until now, this is the state of condition i am in. haish.